First Post Ironman Adventure - Zip Line & Rappelling

That's IronWoman Belinda to you!

Prior to this race I used to envision myself crossing that finish line and just breaking down emotionally. Instead I found myself feeling stunned that my goal was finally reached. I was looking for some kind of overwhelming change to happen. But for some reason I felt like it was just another Iron Team training day... it just included a lot more support. Well now it's 4 days later and it's all starting to sink in. I just did a full Ironman (140.6) and I did it with all the focus and determination that I had in me! Because of all that had happened this past training season, I could not have been more prepared for this day. There was no fear in my ability, I was going to do this and cross that finish line. During the wee hours prior to the event, envelopes were slipped under our hotel doors. Each Coach had written a note conveying words of encouragement and pride. But not until I read my own letter to myself did tears start to fall. Early on in the training season we were asked to sit down and write a letter to ourselves. A letter that would be delivered to us the night prior to our Ironman events. This was an especially difficult letter to write because of the days events. I had again failed to make the swim distance at Lake Del Valle, I was freezing, I was nauseous and half bonked. I had panicked in the water that day. What could I want to say to myself? What would I want to hear? When I wrote this I wasn't sure if I would actually ever even get to read it. Having this letter in my hand validated that I had made it to my Ironman Event. "Dear Me, Wow can you believe you're here? You DID this!!! You set your goal and you did it! You were so scared of swimming. You struggled. You took the time to do all the swim work outs and look at you... You ARE going to do this tomorrow. YOU ARE READY!!! Remember it's forward motion. Just keep going. Be resilient and DON'T STOP!!!! Make sure to love yourself and give yourself the ability to just enjoy the day. Relax, there will NEVER be another 1st Ironman. Take it all in. Try to sleep. Make sure you eat.. and let go. You are worth it and deserve so much more. Life is beautiful! Love, Me" The race was just that .. I kept the phrase, "FORWARD MOTION" in my arsenal. I just kept swimming. Telling myself that I had to keep going. I was RESILIENT on the bike course when I had to climb Chalk Hill for a second time. It was the one and only time during the race that I fought back tears because of the pain my quads were enduring during the climb. I wouldn't allow myself to rest until I made it to the top because I knew exactly what was on the other side... which was a nice long downhill and then into transition. During those moments on the bike course when I found myself alone. I would recall phrases given or said to me by others and I would say them out loud repeatedly. From Tori: "Hush girl. Hush your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips." (This was a quote from a song) I laughed every time I would say it. From Beau: "Be calm. Be great." From Claire Blaney: "You're DOING IT! You're f 'ing DOING IT! You're going to have a great race day!" (She was screaming this as I was passing her on my bike) From me: "Where are you Chalk Hill? Show you're f 'ing face!" (I was determined to make that second climb) "Brenda.. are you there? I need a push." "You've worked too damned hard. Keep going. Push." "I've been through worse. This is nothing." I made sure TO TAKE IT ALL IN and ENJOY the moments as I started the 26.2 mile run course. My legs were stiff at the start of the first loop but soon found a comfortable stride by the second loop. I was fortunate enough to have a friend/friends volunteer to run along side me to keep me company. We would do a 4 min run and a 1 min walk. Our motto was to run during the down hills and walk during the up hills. Both Leigha (who ran the entire 26.2) and Rowena were amazing and im so thankful that they were there to push me along. Things I did for the first time ever: Warning to the queasy... * I peed and swam at the same time. I usually have to stop during a race in order to do this or just hold it the entire time. I swim way too slow to hold it. I even surprised myself when I did it unexpectedly. My thought as I was swimming along was.. "Wow, I feel like a big girl now. A real Iron Woman." * I peed 3 times on my bike while I was racing. Again in the past, I never had the ability to do it. It was always as if I had stage fright. This was the race of my life. I didn't have time or could not afford the time to stop and get off my bike during the race. I was either going to hold it in the entire almost 8 hours or I was going to go IRON and just pee while I rode. I was careful to be sure no one was behind me and I would always rinse off with water afterwards. * This was the first event of swim, bike, run that I completed fully this entire season. I had an amazing day. I could not have asked for a more perfect race. I finished my entire 140.6 mile race in 15:51. I was surrounded by so many wonderful people; friends, family and Ironmates. All of them cheering... all of them waiting for me to cross that finish line. These wonderful people loss their voices, sat, stood, walked and at various points ran all about throughout the 16 hour race. Even friends I had not seen in such a long time came out to show support. I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you, near and far. You were with me from the beginning and knew of the struggles. You pushed for me to keep going because you had faith in me. You donated and helped me to make a difference. You gave support with kind words. You trained with me when you didn't have to. You showed "Jazz Hands". You fed me. You made me laugh. You forgave me and understood when I wasn't available because I was training. You've helped me keep my promise to see this through to the end. As I've said many times before... I have an amazing life and I am so lucky to have all of YOU! I have a 2012 marathon in Antartica booked but what shall I do until then? Suggestions?..... So stay tuned for my next endeavor. ;) LINK TO IRONMAN DAY SLIDESHOW: http://www.slide.com/r/nohxwYIM0j_dqBHoBWW2Q_G_rxiMmXgJ

Race Day On Line

Criteria to find me. Belinda Agamaite Participant 532 Female Age 39 From Oakland, Participating in Full Vineman event. Through this site you can follow me throughout the day to see where I am on the course. http://www.athleteslounge.com/results.php?eventid=2710

Motivated and Ready for Vineman!

Since I spoke of the idea of training for an Ironman years ago, I have had to deal with judgments. I have been told I was crazy, that I could never accomplish such a thing, that I could hurt myself, that I didn't have it in me to complete it. During the training season I was underestimated, believed to be a liability to the TNT Organization because of my poor swimming skills. Another friend revealed to me that she had judged or assumed me to belong in a specific box. Every single one of these individuals were WRONG about me. You do not know me or of my many facets. You do not know how much will and drive I have. I may be more on the quiet and unassuming side. I may be polite and laid back in character. But I am certainly NOT one to back down from anything that I seriously approach.

My life has always been about judgments. I have always had to contend with preconceptions about who I was.... because of the way I dress, the color of my skin, my smaller stature, the slight slant of my eyes, my family history etc., I have risen repeatedly to all the challenges set forth before me. I have struggled, I have hit rock bottom and have climbed out from the darkness. I failed miserably and have learned from those failures. I have come from divorced parents and an abusive home. I have had to grow up much quicker than I should have. I have survived my own divorce and coming to terms with and the acceptance of who I am.

I am not special in anyway. We all have had our own challenges and struggles in life. What is most important is how we react to those challenges and struggles. We must battle on and we must grow and evolve. We become STRONGER in character, in our WILL, and in our DRIVE. During Ironman, I will rely on my past experiences and use them to my advantage. They will push me to dig deep, allowing me again to face my own demons and to rise above them. I WILL complete this challenge. I WILL prove you wrong. I WILL be determined and strong. I WILL NOT let you assume anything about me. I WILL be as I have been all my life....... IRON!

JULY 1 DEADLINE ... I NEED YOUR HELP

Hi everyone..as you know, I have just returned from completing the AIDS Life Cycle Ride. A 545 mile bicycle journey from San Francisco to LA. I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone that supported me both monetarily and emotionally! Without any of you, I could not have completed such a remarkable challenge!

As all of you know, I have been training since November 2008 for my full Ironman event in Sonoma (Vineman) on August 1, 2009. If you have forgotten, that includes a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride and 26.2 mile run. I am participating in this event to raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS). Each donation helps accelerate finding a cure for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma. More than 823,000 Americans are battling these blood cancers. I am hoping that my participation in Team In Training will help bring them hope and support.

This is where YOU come in. I NEED YOUR HELP.... Its crunch time again and I am short on meeting my fundraising goal. My deadline is fast approaching. All fundraising goals must be met by July 1, 2009. That's just a few short weeks away. Through tears, laughter, early mornings in frigid waters, late nights in a gym, long hours training in the hot sun, sore muscles and various moments of just wanting to walk away ... I have pushed through time and again. Physically I am ready to rise to the challenge on August 1st. If you have not donated already or simply would like to make another donation, great or small...Would you do so now? Every donation is tax deductible. Its simple and easy to do.
Just go to:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/VineFIrn09/bagamaite or just click on the IRONTEAM logo in the right column

Thank you all again for everything throughout these past 7 months! Much love to all!!! Belinda

Highlights of AIDS LIFECYCLE RIDE

DAY 1 San Francisco to Santa Cruz, 79.4 miles

* I managed to crash on the first day. I pulled a "rookie" move and tucked my jacket into my waist band. The sleeves apparently weren't tucked in far enough and got caught in my rear tire. Fortunately for me I was able to keep enough control to land myself just in time on a sand dune.
* I purchased a Positive Pedalers wind vest. I absolutely loved the colors. Through out the day people seemed to be giving me extra attention and one person came to me sharing his story about being a first time Positive Pedaler. I realized then that something was not "quite right". Someone finally explained to me that the vest I was wearing stated that I was positive for HIV. Apparently there were other jackets available that read Positive Pedaler Supporter that I should of purchased instead. Its the same as wearing a shirt that says you have cancer when you don't.
* I have never been on a cycling venue of this magnitude before. Safety was of the upmost importance. Whenever passing someone, the person should always shout out, "On your left". Well with 2500 riders that can get very old, very quickly. That night I swore I was going to dream about me shouting out "On your left" but instead I shouted out.. "glass"!
* The day started out foggy and misty but then turned into a sunny day. Saw old friends that I did not realize were doing the Ride.
Stops on the side of the road included: Pie, Strawberries, Candles.
Favorite joke of the day: "Someone once said that a black man would become president when pigs flew. One hundred days after President Obahma took office, we had Swine Flu.

Day 2 Santa Cruz to King City, 107.6 miles

* Lots of crosswinds occurred. At some points it took all my efforts to keep my bike and myself from blowing sideways across the road.
* I had fried artichokes for the first time.. yummmm
* I saw the most beautiful rainbow
* A girl came up to me to tell me I had great arms. That has NEVER happened before.. so I was completely flattered.
* I went skinny dipping for the first time ever in my life and with complete strangers. It was amazing and empowering all at once.

Day 3 King City to Paso Robles, 63.4 miles

* We road on the shoulder of 101 for part of the ride. It was the worst road you could ever imagine to ride your bike on. There was no passing allowed and to avoid the really deep cracks you actually had to ride the white line. By the time we exited 101 we all had developed tension headaches and pains in our necks and shoulders from all the jostling around. It was both quite scary and very dangerous.
* A man was dressed up like a pill on the side of the road and it read on his costume, "You are my Viagra". As you passed him he would tell you, "You keep me up".
* There were just kind people all around.
* New motto: "Make your life count"
* When we returned to camp each rider received a personal hand written note from a child wishing them luck on their ride. My note was very sweet and endearing.
* We were told of a rider that was so inspired by the ALC Ride that she went back to China to pilot her own version. It was The Equality Ride (or something similar) and only had 17 riders signed up. It took very courageous people to commit to such a ride in China. It brought tears to my eyes.
* I befriended one of the roadies, Virgil at dinner one evening. He was making little brown bear ears for the helmets and hats of his good group of friends. He was nice enough to make me a set of ears for my helmet. He also shared with me that he had been living with HIV for many years. He was a very sweet soul.

Day 4 Paso Robles to Santa Maria, 94.1 miles

* I didn't sleep very well and my morning started off with everything seemingly going wrong.
* I managed to get some sort of "buzzing" bug caught in my sunglasses while I was riding. Fortunately for me I was able to remain calm enough to remove my sunglasses to set it free before I could get stung.
* I conquered a hill that had a 21% grade. It was not mentioned on the route sheet. I guess that was a good thing because I would of worried about it all day long.
* I had the best cinnamon bun EVER
* This day was my most challenging day. By the time I got to rest stop 3 I was spent. As I went through the snack line I ran into Jenny. She always handed out snacks at this rest stop. She could tell I wasn't myself. She stopped what she was doing and came around to the front of the table to give me a big, long hug. She whispered in my ear that grandmas give the best hugs. I guess it got to me because I started crying. I felt better soon after I let some of the emotions out.
* The announcement at dinner that Obahma declared that June was officially LGBT month and asked the people of the United States to reverse discrimination. Everyone clapped and cheered and some cried for such an important milestone... including myself.
* Some slogans:
"Drink, Pee or get an IV"
"An AIDS LifeCycle banner on a church that read, "You can't stumble if you're on your knees"

Day 5 Santa Maria to Lonpoc, 67.7 miles

* Head winds from hell. At some point I would say, "Passing on your left...ummm Well maybe ..ummm Nevermind..I seem to be going backwards now."
* I ate A LOT of bugs.. It was a very buggy day.
* Today was Red Dress Day. I opted not to wear a dress but just a simple tee and rainbow colored socks. The costumes were unreal on this day. We were a sea of 2500 riders with the color red on. It was a spectacular sight to see.
* I found a little bbq joint and had the best tri tip bbq sandwich ever.
* Hills, hills, hills, hills, hills, hills.. Need I say more?
* I went to bed very early this night.
*Some slogans:
"Keep it safe, Keep it sexy, Keep it shhhhhh"
"Hydrate, Pee and Repeat"

Day 6 Lompoc to Ventura, 85.5 miles

* We woke up to puddles of water in our tents from the rainstorm during the night.
* My clothes were just about dry finally but then were soaked again from the unexpected rain. I wore wet clothes shorts and sports bra.
* I was one of the early birds and managed to get on the road even though we were still getting pummeled with rain.
The first rest stop was 15 miles away. I decided that since my knees were still sore from yesterdays ride, that I would take my time today. My motto this day was, "Wet is wet".... so I forged through. At one point a semi came along and pushed a tidal wave of water onto a group of us.
* By the time I got to rest stop 1 it was announced that no one was allowed to go any further. Apparently a mud slide had occurred further ahead as well as a fatal car accident. CHP shut the ALC Ride down for the rest of the day. Everyone at rest stop one had the choice of riding back 15 miles to camp and jumping on a bus to Ventura or immediately getting on a bus at rest stop 1 leaving your bike behind to be sagged later to Ventura. I was lucky enough to get on one of the first buses to Ventura. There were only 7 buses available with a maximum of 50 seats available to transport 2500 riders... You do the math.
* I arrived in Ventura soaking wet and with no gear. The camp wasn't going to be open or set up for another 3 or 4 hours. A group of us decided to hitch hike it into downtown Ventura to a thrift store. We all purchased dry outfits to change into for the day. My outfit only cost $4.95 including flip flops.
* Ventura was sunny and beautiful and right by the ocean. Myself and Renate decided to go for a nice cold swim. It was great for the achey quads that I had.
* A candle light vigil was held on the beach under the evening stars. It was both beautiful and symbolic to see so many people gathered, each with a candle.

Day 7 Ventura to Los Angeles, 61.5 miles

* It was an absolutely beautiful day
* The route was fairly flat and fast paced
* Going through Malibu was a bit stressful because the cars were parked along the the highway and there were also a lot of surfers with surf boards. Most times the surfers weren't paying attention and you had to watch out for ends of surfboards possibly taking you out. You also had to be aware of car doors opening suddenly as you passed as well as the traffic to your left.
* A few of us stopped for coffee and I noticed how everyone that lived in the area seemed to be "hollywood" gorgeous. It was ridiculous how beautiful people were.

The ride this day was bitter sweet. We were all tired and ready to sleep in our own beds but we knew that this would be our last ride. This week we lived in a world that was ideal. Everyone was equal.. Everyone was kind and giving... No one was judgemental or had a mean word or thought to convey. Honesty was shown repeatedly. My tentmate lost her wallet on day 3. It was returned by the days end with nothing missing. Another individual lost $250 in cash and retrieved it at lost and found later that same evening. Strangers would volunteer to help pitch each others tents or to transport heavy gear for someone who was too tired. There were always smiling faces, kind words and new connections to be made. I joked that I was once told that this event was "life changing".. by "life changing" I thought I would automatically awaken at 4:30 am and want to ride my bike anywhere from 60 to 107 miles routinely... As well as consume 3 square meals and snack every 15 miles or so. The truth is... I was shown that love, honesty, compassion and equality can exist on a daily basis. I have been changed because I now know that it is POSSIBLE. Thank you to everyone who helped me reached such a remarkable goal.
*Collectively the ALC Riders raised 10.2 million dollars towards AIDS Research and funding for medicines and much needed programs.

Link To Photos For AIDS LifeCycle RIDE 2009

http://www.slide.com/r/xJ8FrJnZ0z8j6aUYPy9JPRL7XTMGfy6-?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original

Just A Snippet of the First Century I Did

Training Pics Mos. 7

Ironman Triathlon

The Bike Course At Wildflow**

Wildflow**

What a weekend I had! As you all know I had a lot of pressure on me to complete my swim by the cut off time set by TNT. I was ready.... I COULDN'T BE MORE READY. The energy that morning was unreal. It was my first official triathlon event of this magnitude.. I couldn't help but get excited along with everyone else.

My wave for 30-39 years old females wouldn't set off until 9:20 am. So I was able to get down into the transition area fairly early to set up all my gear. .. for the swim, bike and run. Luckily for me I had an Ironmate in my division/wave.. Lulu. Together we checked and rechecked our gear. We even managed to find the time to watch some of the elite come into transition as well as see some of our Ironmates from earlier waves head into the water.. Time was ticking away and our wave was soon to be up. As I stepped onto the ramp path towards the waters edge, I remained calm. Lulu gave me a few reassuring words to let me know I could do this. We stood there in the middle of the pack and at first I was going to hang back and let everyone go before me. Then with a big hug, Lulu told me to GO FOR IT.. and that it was my time to shine. As the count down to the start began and with those words in my head, I followed right behind Lulu. I couldn't afford to be timid and waste any time. I knew I could do this swim. The water was in the mid 60s. Even though it was fairly warm by my standards.. I was the only participant in my wave to wear a long sleeve shirt under my sleeveless wet suit, as well as booties for my feet. I couldn't afford to be cold in the water, so hence the nerdy garb.

I just went along with the crowd. There was splashing everywhere. Everyone was trying to find their own space in the water so that they could ultimately find their groove. The course was shaped as one large rectangle that mapped out a 1.2 mile distance from start to finish. I just paced myself the entire time. With each freestyle stroke I would propel my body forward... breathing every 3 strokes. I would site off each large orange buoy that I approached. I wanted to keep up with the pack but knew that it was best that I just kept my pace. Steady and calm I kept telling myself.. don't panic... you've done this. There were at least 2 or 3 more waves behind me and I could feel them encroaching on me and eventually most of them passing by. I wouldn't let it bother me.. my goal was just to make the cut off. I had a number of people swim over me and a few with whom my face almost met with their thrashing feet. I did manage to accidentally kick a woman full on in the face myself. I felt horrible about it and managed to pause long enough to apologize. Later I was told by teammates that there is no "sorry" in triathlons. Things happen and you just keep going.

As I swam, I kept hearing lifeguards telling me that I was so close and that I was doing great. I could see the giant arch made of balloons that signified the end. I was there and knew that my time had come. As I stood up, I immediately looked at my watch... 1:03, well within the 1:20 parameter set by TNT and the coaches. .. and within the 1:10 cut off parameter set by Wildflower! I took that moment to just take it all in.. I did it and no one could that away from me. As I jogged up the ramp, back towards transition, there were very few people left. Amy, my friend and the EFT Specialist who has been helping me, was there to witness my accomplishment. We were both elated. Leslie the team manager was also there to welcome me in. She gave me a "good job".. and I replied with a thank you and with a triumphant voice, asked her to let the coaches know that I had done it!

Now the rest of the day:

I got back into the transition area and quickly removed my wet suit and wet clothing. I immediately started to dry off and change into my bike gear. I quickly grabbed my bike and was ready to roll.. and so I thought. I had a flat in my rear tire... I couldn't imagine that this could happen now. I attempted to check the valve to see if it was open... and tried to pump air back into it with a CO2 cartridge.. no luck. Someone came by and tried to help. I was told that I needed a floor pump. Of course I didn't have one on hand. I immediately ran up the hill with flat tire in hand and went to the repair tent at the expo. My tube was quickly replaced with a new one. Apparently there was a tear found near the stem of the tube that had caused a slow leak.. hence a flat tire. Looking back now... I had panicked big time. My brain had gone to mush.. I could of fixed the flat myself but didn't feel confident enough to do it. This would cost me later.

The bike course was 55 miles long.. with a long steep climb after the 1st mile and another steeper climb around mile 43 named "Nasty Grade", followed with rolling hills for the remaining part of the course. Because of the amount of time I used in transition, I needed to make up the difference in my ride. I had to make it back to the transition area by 2:45 or I wouldn't be allowed to do the run part of the event. I refused to give up and I pushed myself hard. I knew I couldn't afford to take the time to stop if I were to make the cut off time. For 55 miles I kept a forward motion. The sun was out in full force, as well as the head winds. I saw very few participants for the first 30 or so miles. I kept thinking I must of been one of the last ones out of transition. I was angry with with myself for letting this happen. I didn't want my actual Ironman event in August to be like this. I had cut it too close and was racing against the clock. I eventually made it into the transition area at 3:00.. I missed the cut off by 15 min. According to the records I spent an entire 29 min. in transition earlier. I ultimately would've made the cut off.

The race director was there to take my timing chip. I didn't care at this point. What I wanted to do was get onto the run course so that I could complete the entire event.. but was immediately told that I was not allowed to continue any further. There were people at the start of the run blocking anyone else from going onto the course. I was angry and disappointed in myself.. I had worked so hard up to this point and this was how it was going to end? I found out later that a few people came in after the bike cut off and still managed to negotiate their way onto the run course. Looking back I wish I had been more aggressive about being allowed to finish my race... Again another lesson learned!

"I could of, would of, should of".... all of these come into mind. What I need to remember was that this was a learning experience for me. What can I take away from this Half Ironman? I'm certainly going to learn to change a flat with confidence and speed. I am even more focused and determined to improve on my swim skills and bike time. I calculated my bike time at about 4:08 hours and I estimate that I could've finished the run in about 2:30. After adding all the numbers. I would've most likely finished the entire race in 8 hours give or take. I definitely need to step it up if I am to be ready for my event in August. FYI: Since I did not complete the run I decided to tell everyone that I did the "Wildflow**" instead of Wildflower... Next year I plan to return and complete the entire course.

So the training continues and so does the fundraising. Please if you haven't already donated, would you mind making a contribution to either Cause? Small or large.. every dollar you donate will help someone in need. I continue to make the commitment daily as I have promised.. but I need your help in raising the funds necessary. Just click on either Logo to the right of the page and you will be sent directly to my donation pages. Thank you all for your support.. I will continue to work hard for you, for the coaches and for the people that need our help! GO TEAM!

Its Time To Go IRON and ROCK Wildflower!

http://www.seemonterey.com/wildflower-triathlon

This Saturday I will participating in the 2009 Avia Wildflower Half Ironman (Long Course). This is the same course that we, as a team, did for our Half Ironman Training Weekend at Lake San Antonio. As you may recall, I had "some difficulties" with the swim to say the least. 

A Half Ironman distance includes:  1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and 13.1 mile run.

All I can say is, I AM READY. I have done everything possible to prepare myself for this day. Even though the coaches and LLS were not behind me, I was still surrounded by so many that believed in me. A "Team Belinda" was formed. I had the support of friends, old and new... And even the support of others whom I've never met. My teammates continually offered inspiring words and also have taken opportunities to swim with me in open water. Sometimes the swims would take place in a warm sunny lake and at other times in the cold ocean water during a rainstorm. I am very thankful for my "swim consultant"/friend  Mike Kyle. He was the one that swam along side me at training weekend. He has believed in me from the start, never to waiver in his opinion. Im also very fortunate to have found the support of Amy Ryan, an EFT Specialist (Emotional Feeling Therapy Specialist), who I can now call a dear friend. She has been working with me closely to help me overcome my nausea issues. We've been seeing each other twice a week for the past month. 

In case "Team Belinda" wasn't aware... THANK YOU.. ALL OF YOU.... FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!  You are the definition of the word TEAM!

So as you can see I have left no stone unturned. Regardless of the outcome on Saturdays swim, I will have no regrets. I can do nothing more. Wildflower is only 3 days away. Im excited and I am ready to show everyone what means to be IRON!

A Letter From One Of Our Honorees

Hi all,

I wanted to send you a quick note to say hello and to thank you for
being part of Ironteam.  You all know what Ironteam symbolizes to the
group but I am not sure if any of the honorees have shared what
Ironteam means to them.

Ironteam is a team made up of all kinds of people, men and women of
all age groups, some fast, some not so fast.  You all have different
strengths on the swim, bike and run.  For some it may come easy, and
for some it is more of a challenge.  Then you also have to add
nutrition in some format liquid, or not.  You all also add to your hat
fundraising, and that is not any easy thing to do.  You give up most
of your personal lives so that others can live, and

The one thing you all have in common is the passion to find a cure for
cancer, and are relentless about giving up, just like cancers
survivors we are relentless about giving up.  Many regardless of how
hard they fought were not able to overcome the horrible disease.
While people are surviving cancer there are still not enough people,
everyone deserves a to survive cancer.

You all have your own reasons for being part of the cure for cancer
and I am proud of each and everyone of you.  I would have rather been
out playing with my friends, or ridining my bike than being sick in
bed from my cancer treatment.

I didn't have a choice but to fight, and you do - so when you climbing
up a hill that you just want turn turn around or wait to be picked up,
think of the children, men and women whom are not able to be outside
or enjoying time with their loved ones.

These women and men are you - the ironteam - Go Long, Go Strong, GO
Ironteam
YOU ROCK!

Honoree Kev
(Clink linkg for a photo of me from my childhood)
http://www1.snapfish.com/slideshow/AlbumID=140909062/PictureID=2599009713/a=1023984_1023984/otsc=SHR/otsi=SPIClink/COBRAND_NAME=snapfish

Training Pics Mo. 6

What's New?

Cutting to the chase of it:

A few email exchanges and one "almost" 3:1 meeting between myself, the head coach, the team manager and the LLS director seemed to have settled each sides grievances. A compromise had been determined. LLS/TNT expressed their concerns for my safety and capability to complete my swim. Knowing my dissatisfaction with their decision, a few alternate choices were placed on the table.

A) I could have a "pitch swimmer". I would do the bike and run part and someone else could do the swim part.. becoming the first ever "duathlete" with Ironteam.

B) Although advised against it: By May 24th I could test to swim 1.2 miles within the 1:20 window either through a sanctioned event or through an Ironteam coach. Until then I cannot do any open water swims with the team. I would have to have my own personal "swim consultant" that I must meet with routinely and then a weekly report as to my progress would need to be provided to the team coaches.

C) Should I fail to do option (B) I can then choose option (A) or go to option (D)

D) Walk away from the entire Ironman event. The money I did fundraise would then be held in limbo and rolled over into a different event of my choosing for next year.

E) Should I pass the test: I would then be allowed to rejoin Ironteam for open water swims. I would also be required to continue seeing a personal "swim consultant" and have weekly reports about my progress be provided for the remaining duration of the season.

What have I been doing?
I have been SWIMMING like a fish! I now have a personal "swim consultant"/friend who is helping me achieve that perfect swim stroke, body/balance position in the water. I have also been seeing an EFT specialist to help me overcome my nausea. And I have been swimming as often as I can in open water and in my wet suit. Pssts.. now keep this on the "down low" but I now know I CAN swim the 1.2 miles within the time allotted. :) I've already done it several times.. so stay tuned!



Another quick update: This past weekend I signed up and completed back to back Century rides. This was a great accomplishment for me personally. In training I have never ridden further than 65 miles. In just one weekend alone, I rode just slightly over 200 miles. I rode in a climate of 90+ degree weather and climbed anywhere from 5,500-6,000 feet of elevation daily. My nutrition was good and I was well hydrated. I battled any demons laying before me. I must say the 2nd Century Ride was more challenging. My body was already taxed from the previous days Century. The route was less shaded and more available to the suns rays. I also rode alone without any of my core Ironmates surrounding me. The weekends events was an ultimate test of my endurance, my determination and my training and it paid off!

**My song to get me through the grueling moments: Build Me Up Butter Cup

(im going to have to print out the song lyrics before my next event)

Relentless

I swim because I can. I swim because you say I can't.

"Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." - Orison Swett Marden

"Belinda You Can't Swim"

I would of wrote this blog last night but I was still trying to process the news given to me yesterday. After our 2 hour swim work out and 9 mile trail run.. I was pulled aside by the head coach for a "talk". He wanted to address my "swim issue". Apparently a "decision" was made among the coaches and higher level TNT "big wigs". The coach informed me that legally they could not allow me to do the swim in my Ironman event. I was told a liability issue was of the greatest concern. During the Half Ironman Distance Training weekend I had "gutted" out the entire 1.2 mile swim but as a trade off.. I swam for 1 hr and 43 min and vomited twice in the water. The vomiting could of been attributed to the amount of time I spent in the water and or the fact that I was swimming in circles and back and forth across the lake while doing the backstroke. As you may remember I was assessed by 2 paramedics.. my sugar was checked, heart rate and temperature taken... all vitals were normal. Of course since I was in the water for so long and I vomited twice.. possible dehydration was what was determined. I was also shaking from being cold... Since I am so thin hypothermia was also something they were looking for (FYI-I shake when I get out of the shower too). Mentally I was aware and answering all questions and admittedly somewhat tired from the swim.
Looking back, my choice in doing the backstroke was a poor one. As I understood it, the goal of the swim was to finish it in its entirety. No "plan B's" were offered. No advice was given prior to the swim. Not everyone finished the entire swim.. they did the best they could do for them. I wonder if any of this would be an issue now if I had chosen to have quit and not do the entire swim of 1.2 miles. I also wonder why I wasn't offered a "plan B". The coaches knew of my struggles with swimming. Although I am now comfortable swimming in a pool.. swimming in open water is a totally different ball game. It was clearly known prior to Half Iron Training weekend of my anxieties with open water swims. Why was I not asked to swim 30 min out and back? Why was I not asked to just break it down and just focus on my freestyle stroke? Why was it not explained to me that it was in my best interest to just try to become more comfortable in the wet suit? That these were all options? That the goal of the day for me was not to swim the entire course (at least not that day) but to instead not worry and focus on "plan B". If I had thought of any of these things as options.. I certainly would of chosen differently.
As a compromise, the coach offered that I could be the "first Iron(WO)man to do a duathlon" instead.. someone else would swim in my place. I was also told that I was still part of the team and could do the swim work outs in the pool but was not allowed to do any more open water swims. These "compromises".. just added more sting to this nasty scenario!! I bursted into angry tears to the coach. I informed him that I have done nothing but bust my ass since the start of training in November of 08. I went into this program barely able to swim 25 yards without having to stop on the pool wall to catch my breathe. I now can swim 2800 yards in the pool along with everyone else. Im still one of the slower swimmers but the point is im swimming and im making the efforts needed towards improvement. I told him that I thought that it was wrong of them to take away my right to try.. I realize that I may not make the swim cut off during my race and im okay with that. My goal is just to try.. to try the best I can... For me, for all the people/family and friends that have supported me and for all the honorees.
After the conversation with the coach... I was left feeling that they had given up on me.. that I was not good enough.. that I was not worth it. TNT always ask us as participants to make a commitment.. to sign on the dotted line. But where is their commitment to me? There are people lying in hospital beds.. fighting for their lives. The prospects may be dismal but yet they fight. They do not give up. And for them and everyone else I will not give up! I will write my letters to the "big wigs" of TNT and go through all the chains of commands. And even if they still refuse me the right to try... I WILL STILL BE AT THAT WATERS EDGE ON RACE DAY! Even if I have to do it without the support of TNT.
All my teammates have been very supportive and want to help in any way they can. Today I swam in Sonoma in open water. Three of my teammates.. Les, Meg and Wendi took the time to swim with me. I swam in my wet suit.. I swam further than I have ever in open water (@ 1/2 mile) using a freestyle stroke. I did not get nauseated.. I did not vomit and yes I shivered a little when I got out of the water. My teammates pointed out different ways I could improve my swim to make it more efficient. It felt good to finally be told that I could do this. That all my efforts werent for not. Its amazing what a little positive reenforcement can do.
I have plans to do many more open water swims between now and May 1. I am officially signed up to do the Half Ironman (not through TNT) at Wildflower. This will be the same exact course that I did for Half Iron Distance Training weekend. I will complete the swim and I will finish the bike and the run. GO LONG, GO STRONG and JUST GO!!!!

Iron(WO)man Training Mos 5 Pics

Half Way To Ironman Training Weekend

Well the mantra came in very handy. For the first 3 of 5 buoys I sang the phrase happily.. "Just keep swimming". Although I started my swim with a freestyle stroke, my wet suit still felt too restricted. I decided to do my usual "backup" stroke the actual backstroke. As I swam staring out at the overcast sky above me.. I counted birds that flew by and listened to the sounds of swimmers passing me. I could also sense when a speed boat would be coming from the far off distance. I imagined that I had the hearing of a canine .. the sound was faint but very high pitched. I was prepared this time and knew to expect some potential waves when the boats would finally pass me. I would not succumb to any panic attacks today! This day I was adamant that I going to swim the entire course of 1.5 miles come hell or high water! I was in a good place.. the water was at 62 degrees which is the warmest its been thus far. I was also laughing at myself and telling myself that my focus was to have fun. I was in a rhythm and just grooving along. A few coaches swam by me and tried to convince me to try to freestyle but I exclaimed to them to leave me alone! That I was moving along just fine the way I was and that all was well. Each buoy was colored differently.. my plan was to reach for small goals. I would tell myself just swim to the next buoy .. thats all I would need to do. And then I would reach that buoy and have my own personal celebration in my head. I would then encourage myself to sight for the next buoy.. "Lets just get there Belinda".. "Holy shit.. you're doing it!". Then.. slowly it was coming on, nausea. No I would tell myself.. "Dont focus on that".. "Its all in your head".. "Remember to have fun!". Hmmmm well eventually the mantra of "Just keep swimming" was replaced with "Shit, damn, fuck" (Lent to me by a fellow teammate). With each stroke I would repeat this mantra. I could tell I was starting to feel fatigued and I still had 2 buoys yet to reach before I could turn around to swim back to shore. I could see my 2nd to last buoy... it was right there. I could also see my teammate Les. I wasnt too far behind him. He later told me that he was sighting off of me as we swam near each other. But at some point he looked up and I had disappeared. He finally sighted me going across the lake in the wrong direction. He said that I had stopped and popped up my head and had such a look of confusion on my face. Apparently as I was growing more fatigued with the swim, my backstroke became worse. I was told later that they could see me swimming back and forth across the lake.. and even in full circles at times. The 2nd to last buoy that I was so close to earlier.. I must of passed a dozen times. I kept getting further away from it. At this point I was cursing the Sea Gods (or Lake Gods)! I wasnt sure how long I had been swimming. Our Honoree Captain Mike Kyle (absolutely one of my most favorite people) swam along side me. He asked my at one point during the swim.. "What is your goal today Belinda?" I replied, "What do you mean, what is my goal today? He then replied, "How far do you want to go?" I then replied in a slightly irritated tone, '"My goal is to reach that last fucking buoy so I can finally make the turn around and swim back to shore! Why are you asking?" His reply seemed a little cautious., "No reason.. just wondering." I think he may have been afraid to suggest that I turn around at that very moment. Mike Kyle knew.. he knew that I was on a mission to complete this swim. So there I was gagging, burping, feeling green and trying to swim a straight line. Mike Kyle would be my guide.. my swim buddy. He swam along side me.. dragging his red Bay Watch floatation device. I would try to count out 30 strokes and then flip up to sight the next buoy.. but eventually I had to give that up. It would just worsen the nausea. Mike Kyle became my eyes. I could hear his voice.. "right, now left, more left, now right" etc.,
Eventually I made it to that last buoy for the turn around. Mike Kyle made me kiss it. For a moment I felt such a great sense of accomplishment. I actually reached that last buoy! Thats when I told Mike Kyle.. "Lets go the fuck home!"
Just as I was starting my swim back to shore... I felt the overwhelming need to vomit take over me. I yelled out for the red flotation device. There was no shyness.. the ugliness came from me. Usually im an anti vomit girl.. and if I must, I am very private about it. There was no privacy. There we were... me hanging on to the device and Mike Kyle still attached to the device. He was nice.. he said nothing. Looking back its all comical to me now.. but not when it was happening. After the ugliness settled.. I tried to make light of the situation. I asked Mike Kyle.. "Am I still hot?"(You see my nick name for Mr. Mike.. is Mr. Handsome) His reply was, "Yeah baby.. you're still hot!"..laughter then ensued. Okay.. I still needed to get back to shore so that I could get on my bike. Again I would flip onto my back.. with Mike Kyle guiding along. I tried to fight the nausea the entire time. I even tried to freestyle a number of different times but eventually would give up and flip onto my back. I had moments that I would yell out for my red flotation device. I kept getting false alarms.. I couldnt imagine anything else coming from my body. Well apparently I had a little more in there. Again I vomited and with what seemed to be convulsions. I still had one more buoy to pass and then to the shore. The head coach came over a few times ( in his kayak) and implied that I should be towed in. I kept telling him that I was fine and that I would make it. I was so close. I could see the shore.. I could see the swim coach.. I could see all the people waiting for me. I kept chugging along.. fighting the urge to give up. A small break here and there but moving. Eventually the head coach came over again. At the time I thought he was trying to trick me.. he said, "Belinda just lay there and let Mike Kyle tow you in a little while you rest" My reply back was quick and angry, "Fuck if I swam all this way for you to fucking tow me in now.... fuck you!" (I later apologized) And then I was fired up.. I stroked harder and faster then I had the entire time. I was going to do this! I was so focused that at one point I swam backwards into the shoreline and could feel my ass hit the bottom of the lake. As this was occurring .. poor Mike Kyle was trying to stop me but was too late. I just sat up. I was literally sitting in shallow water. It must of tickled a funny bone because I was hysterical with laughter.. we both were. I was just near the pier... I could of climbed out just about there but was instructed that I had to swim AROUND the pier to exit. At this point I was frustrated, weak, cold and exclaiming that I just wanted to get out of the fucking water!
My legs were wobbly but as soon as I could stand I had the biggest and most triumphant smile on my face. I immediately looked at my watch... 53 minutes! I could do this!!!! I was the last one out of the water and needed some help getting my balance. As happy as I was.. the people around me seemed concerned. No one was celebrating with me. Why? As I made my way up the trail and up the hill.. I was escorted and asked about how I felt. I replied that I felt a little tired but was so happy about my accomplishment... and that I was ready to jump on the bike. At the top of the hill I was told that they wanted me to talk to some people before I got on the bike. I was confused.. who did they want me to talk to? They pointed at an ambulance in the distance (its always standard to have one at a big event such as this). I thought to myself (or maybe I said it out loud)..you've got to be fucking kidding me.. im fine! The paramedics greeted me.. and before being asked... I automatically gave my name, the date, where I was and any pertinent information to let them know that I was of sound mind and body. They were not impressed.. I was asked to climb into the ambulance so that they could check my vitals. I was very reluctant but what could I do? I was asked a number of question.. hooked up to a heart rate monitor, blood taken to check my sugar levels etc., They asked me if I knew how long I was out there. I told them that I had been swimming for 53 minutes. Then the swim coach stepped in to inform the paramedics that I was actually out in the water for 1 hour and 43 minutes.. way too long for the water temperature. When I heard this I was in shock! There was no way I was out there for that long. I explained to the coach that my watch read 53 minutes. She calmly said that I couldve possibly hit a button mistakenly. Was I crazy? I swear I was out there for 53 minutes and someone was playing a cruel joke. Im going to have to swim 2.4 miles for my actual event and I have only 2 hours and 10 minutes to make the swim cut off. Holy shit.. I didnt swim well.. I actually sucked! I gave in at that moment.. I let them do what they wanted to me. I was wrapped up in warm blankets and watched carefully. They wanted to take me to the hospital to fill me with fluids. They were afraid that I was dehydrated from all the vomiting and becoming hypothermic. I told them that I refused to go and that I was going to be okay. I was also told that it was not in my best interest to get on the bike today. And if I did choose to do so I would have to sign a waiver releasing TNT from any liability. I was at a loss and I was completely exhausted. I eventually was moved from the ambulance to a warm van. I was watched closely, never being left alone. I was fed hot chicken soup and filled with electrolytes. I lost sense of time..It took most of the rest of the morning for me to recover. I was disappointed.. I wanted to do the half iron distance with my teammates. Coach Dave was nice enough to rack my bike back onto my roof rack. He came back to let me know that the Universe must have been trying to tell me something that day. He told me that I had a another broken spoke but this time it was on the front wheel. Even if I could do my ride.. I couldnt have. The paramedics kept returning every so often to check my vitals. As I sat in the van I made peace with all of it. I decided to look at the positive side of things. I actually swam 1.5 miles that day! I didnt give up! I didnt have a panic attack! I fucking did it and I now know that I can last in the water for that long! I have the determination and drive to do this thing... and I will do it!!


Eventually I was driven back to the campsite so that I could change into more comfortable clothes. I decided that I needed to support my Ironmates. They all worked so hard up to this point and for some of them this was their first half ironman distance. I decided to do a water stop with the team honorees Kevin and Laura. We passed out water, electrolytes and snacks at mile 10 to the teammates that were on the last part of the journey.. the run. I had mixed emotions as I sat there watching my teammates come in. I was dsappointed that I wasnt there along side them but at the same time I was very overwhelmed with pride. They looked so strong and they were doing it, while at the same time battling their own demons. I also got to know Kevin and Laura more. They're great individuals.. volunteering their time to support us as we train. Each of them have been battling their own personal war with blood cancer. They are the very reasons why we do any of this. So that we can help to find a cure. That hopefully there will be no more individuals that will have face something so horrible. I am in awe of both their strength and their courage.
The rest of the day consisted of cheering on the remaining teammates as well as continuingly replenishing my body with electrolytes. Back at the campsite.. there were cheerful red faces from the days sun and exhausted bodies. The spirits were high and souls triumphant. A celebration was going to happen this evening. There were comical skits preformed by various regional teams, a catered meal, and plenty of beer to be had. At one point during the middle of the evening festivities heads were starting to be shaved as a symbol of support for our honorees and others like them. Many men were willing to join in but would a woman? Through a series of actions... one woman did step up to the plate. She volunteered her head full of gorgeous curls for $1500 to go towards the Cause. Among all that were there.. promise notes were made and the sum total manifested. My dear friend and teammate Moddie stepped up. It was an emotional moment.. as Moddies hair was falling away to the ground around her.. our honoree Laura held both Moddies hands in hers and wept.
Through her tears.. she thanked Moddie for her courage, her sacrifice and her commitment to the Cause. You could see in that moment the emotional connection between the two women.
Our lives may be difficult and challenging at times. We may be tired or we may be depressed about our jobs or our life situations. Its fair to feel all of these things.. we're human. But we have choices. We can choose to change our circumstances. We can choose to be happy . We can choose to look at the positives. We can choose to get out of bed and live our lives any way we want to. But what if we cant? What if you were told that you have cancer and you only have so long to live? What if they say there is no cure but we have medicines that will make you lose your hair, make you sick and bed ridden but just might let you live? These people dont have the luxury of choice. Its.. Do you want to try live or do you want to die? Just think about it...ponder if it was you or someone close to you.. your mother, father, spouse/partner or child. Would you not want a cure to be available? What does this life mean to you? Please... make a donation today?....

THIS IS MY MOTTO THIS WEEKEND: "JUST KEEP SWIMMING"

Someone was nice enough to write a description of the course at Lake San Antonio.. our Half Ironman training distance that we are doing tomorrow.

This weekend is going to be such a milestone for you and honestly, a TON of fun. I am very bummed Matt and I are missing training weekend this year, because it is always such an amazing weekend.

The lake is much warmer than anything you have probably swum in this winter in this area. The worst part about the swim is getting in - you jump off the dock. The drop from the dock is very short -- it's not the height that's an issue, more the just dropping in as opposed to walking in. I'd say the dock is about 2 feet above the water. You just jump in feet first and go - and then there is space once you are in, to just tread water for a bit to get your bearings and adjust to the water and whatnot. When everyone is going in together, a moving line forms, so you can't take your time and everyone just goes commando style. I'd recommend jumping in once for practice before you do it with your whole team.

It will probably be foggy in the morning, but you are never too far from shore and there is a lot of support along the way. Expect twigs and other random floating things. I wasn't expecting all the stuff in the water the first time and it totally freaked me out. If's just twigs and grass and other harmless stuff.

The ride is stunning and actually, up until about 42 miles or so, it's not that challenging. Seriously! There is a false summit at nasty grade so it is not over until you've summited twice. After nasty grade it feels like you are done, but you actually have quite a bit left, including some pretty tough rolling up hills and some very long and pretty steep down hills - exhilerating, even if you ride your breaks down them! You will definitely be doing a lot of breaking the last 10 miles of the ride! Fortunately, as far as steep downhills go, they are the best kind because there aren't many turns, you can see the entire downhill out in front of you so you see how long it is, how steep, where it turns, any cars coming, etc.

The run is my favorite half marathon ever. Once you make it out of the trails, around mile 5 it gets much easier. So even though the beginning makes you think you are in for one hell of a long and tough run, just remember, around mile five, when you clear the woods and over look the meadow, it is soooo much easier for the remainder of the way. After that, there is really only one hill -- the pit -- but it's a 1 mile steady and not too steep climb and there's no reason to do anything more than a trot or even a walk, on your way up it. After the top of the pit -- go as hard as you can because the end is right there. You are going to be awesome. Have fun!

This weekend I will be doing a half Ironman training distance. That's a swim of 1.2 miles, biking 56 miles and running 13.1 miles. There is all this talk about shaving heads as a fundraiser. Some of you may already know that about 2 years ago I gave myself a faux hawk. It was nice for about the 1st 15 minutes and until I was mistaken for boy. Its taken me this long to grow my hair to the length it is today. I am a very apprehensive about the thought of shaving my entire head bald and having to grow it out yet again... but for a good Cause and for the right amount of money I would commit to doing it. So this is the challenge: if enough people donate between now and noon tomorrow 3-20-09.. with the minimum IN THE BANK of $2,000 dollars. I will shave my head for Saturdays event. Why so steep? Because I dont think it will happen and for me to shave my head it will have to be a pretty hefty price for the Cause. When and if I do this.. I will be sure to video record it and post it on both my Blog, Facebook and MySpace for all to see. Currently I have $4,694.65 in in the bank... Can you add $2,000? If it so happens that the full $2,000 doesnt happen.. everyone that donates will be included in the Sonicare Toothbrush w/ UV Sanitizer fundraiser. For every $5.00 you donate.. your name will be thrown into a hat to possibly win. Drawing will be held. April Thursday April 30th.

Go to and donate:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/VineFIrn09/bagamaite
So the challenge is on! Will I be shaving my head this weekend?

A New Fundraiser! For Every $5.00...

Hi everyone! As you already know I have been training since November 2008 for various events. The first event is an Ironman event that will beheld in Sonoma on August 1st 2008 and it is through Team In Training. I will swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles and run 26.2 miles. The second event I will be participating in is The AIDS LifeCycle Ride that will take place on May 31st and end on June 7th. It is a 545 mile bike ride starting from San Francisco and ending in LA. Both are great events that bring awareness to very important Causes. I have pledged to raise a minimum of $9,000 in total for both events. The funds in turn will help find cures, fund scientific researchers, provide medicines, shelter, aide in financial burdens etc.,

THE FUNDRAISER:

For every $5.00 you donate you have a chance to win a Philips Sonicare FLexCare Toothbrush w/ UV Sanitizer. This toothbrush is can cost well over $100 dollars and you can get it for a minimum of $5.00! What a great deal! I will keep this offer open until Thursday April 30th. I will have a non-bias individual draw a random name from a hat to declare the winner. Remember the for every $5.00 you donate your name gets thrown into a hat. I will also mail the prize to you if you do not live within my area. Thank you and good luck! Just click on either of the event logos to the right and follow to the donation pages.

PANIC ATTACK #2

Just this past weekend we had an open water swim at Lake Del Valle in Livermore. This is the same lake that we did our very 1st open water swim way back when. The water temperature was a bit warmer comparatively but still considered cold. I borrowed a friends sleeveless wet suit to see if I would prefer swimming in it as opposed to a full sleeved wet suit. The range of motion with the arms was much greater but unfortunately across the chest it felt a bit more constricted than my own wet suit. I started out the swim with a free style stroke but soon found it too difficult to breathe. So as a back up.. I decided to switch to the back stroke. While on my back I tried to concentrate on just moving forward along the course. Within my own head I kept repeating to myself that I could do this swim. But then nausea soon started to set in while at the same time my goggles were entirely fogged up. So there I was, blind, nauseated, cold and unsure as to my path along the course. Thankfully one of the coaches stayed near by to help guide me from swimming into any obstacles.. a floating tree branch here or an oncoming swimmer. I was told that I needed to be sure to flip over and site every few strokes but that just worsened my nausea altogether. I managed to make it to the first marker and make the turn around. I didnt want to quit.. I kept yelling at myself not to quit. As I continued my swim back, all I could see was the cloudy sky above me and the shoreline in my peripheral. I could hear the coach telling me that i was doing well and to veer left or right along the course. As I was fighting off the feeling of wanting to vomit.. I could sense the water becoming choppier. At first I ignored it but then the waves became bigger and more frequent. I couldnt understand what was happening. All I could do was yell out to the nearby coach that I needed him.. I felt a panic taking over. I had to reach the canoe or I felt like I would drown. I just hung there at the edge of the canoe for minutes waiting for the waves to subside. So many thoughts were streaming through my head... it all became overwhelming.. I just bursted and began sobbing. The coach explained to me that there was a motorized boat that had just passed by and that everything was fine and that I was fine. I managed to calm myself down and started my swim again. I swam a few hundred more yards before my body started shivering from the cold. I just couldnt take it anymore... thats when I decided that I was done with the swim. I swam to the shoreline and climbed up the embankment. There happened to be a fisherman there to help fish me out of the water. I walked along the waters edge and headed back towards the direction of the start. Looking back I walked with my head hung low, frozen from the cold wind and ashamed and disappointed in myself for giving up. By the time I reached everyone back at the start I had turned 12 shades of blue. I needed 2 people to help me get undressed and changed into warmer clothes. Eventually I made it to my car and just layed there across the front seats hoping to get warm and to lose the nausea. The rest of the work out involved an hour on the bike and then a 30 min run and then repeat again. My body was on autopilot for the rest of the day. I knew that it was just a bad day for me and that not all days were going to be good ones.
The good news is.. that my actual event will be held in a river, with no boats, shallow enough at some points that I could stand and warm enough that I wont need a wet suit or to have to worry about hypothermia. But until then I have a number of open water swims in the cold that i must endure first. This coming weekend will be our "half way to ironman" training weekend. Im not feeling very confident about it... especially after what happened just this past weekend. All I can do is try because not trying is NOT an option. I will repost another blog after the weekend to let you know I did. In the mean time.. think of me out there trying my best to keep my promise to complete my event. Im still fundraising for both the Ironman and the AIDS LifeCycle.. if you feel compelled please donate today. My personal obstacles are nothing compared to the individuals who are bed ridden and fighting for their lives. I can do this and I will do this! With love, Belinda

PS In the pic im the one at the bottom right (no sleeves)

THIS IS HOW I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE..

“I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.” - Jack London

A TEAM WORKOUT

Can You Believe It?

Its been an entire 4 months since the start of this great adventure! Granted.. there is still 5 months left of training but can I just say, "WOW"?! I could actually have a baby in the amount of time we have had and have left of training season. Hmmmm... im going to stick to training.. he he I know its been awhile since i've written anything about my experiences. Everything has been the same... just longer swims, longer rides and longer runs. My swimming is coming along nicely. I have actually improved, although I am still one of the slowest swimmers on the team. Recently we did a marker swim. We had to swim nonstop for 15 minutes and count the number of laps we swam during those 15 minutes. During the earlier part of the training season.. we did this marker set. I only swam 13 laps, which is equivalent 325 yards. My recent marker result was 21 laps, which is equivalent to 525 yards! So there is definitely improvement happening.. I just need so much more. Thank goodness we have 5 months left to train.
What's coming up: On the weekend of March 20th the team will be at Lake San Antonio doing a Half Ironman Training distance weekend. For those of you that don't know.. a Half Ironman distance is; 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and a 13.1 mile run. I have no problems with any of the distances with the exception of the swim. I feel very comfortable in the pool and have swam as long as 2500 yards culminated. But because I have yet to have enough open water time in a wet suit.. I am not as confident. So we shall see how I do. Im fortunate enough to be able to participate in this training weekend because on May 2nd I am officially signed up for The Wild Flower Half Ironmnan! Yes... i'm crazy but I know I can do it! It's just about "mind over matter"!
So as you can see.. i'm ALIVE!... and i'm DOING IT! We train 6 days a week, along with working full time jobs, taking care of our families (w/ the exception of me), keeping our homes in order and trying to balance a social life as well. My fundraising is going well.. and I thank all of you that have supported me monetarily and emotionally. Its been quite a ride thus far. But its far from over. We still have 5 months of training and I have yet to reach my fundraising goals for either event.. The Vineman (Ironman) and The AIDS LifeCycle Ride. Its not just about me and the events. Its about the people who are battling for their lives and need our help. Please continue donate to either event. Together we can make a difference! Please help save a life! With all the love in the world, Belinda GO TEAM!!!
Just click on either logo to the right. You will be brought to the donation page.

Month 4 Pics

Month 3 Pics- Including Louie Tri