Prior to this race I used to envision myself crossing that finish line and just breaking down emotionally. Instead I found myself feeling stunned that my goal was finally reached. I was looking for some kind of overwhelming change to happen. But for some reason I felt like it was just another Iron Team training day... it just included a lot more support. Well now it's 4 days later and it's all starting to sink in. I just did a full Ironman (140.6) and I did it with all the focus and determination that I had in me! Because of all that had happened this past training season, I could not have been more prepared for this day. There was no fear in my ability, I was going to do this and cross that finish line.
During the wee hours prior to the event, envelopes were slipped under our hotel doors. Each Coach had written a note conveying words of encouragement and pride. But not until I read my own letter to myself did tears start to fall. Early on in the training season we were asked to sit down and write a letter to ourselves. A letter that would be delivered to us the night prior to our Ironman events. This was an especially difficult letter to write because of the days events. I had again failed to make the swim distance at Lake Del Valle, I was freezing, I was nauseous and half bonked. I had panicked in the water that day. What could I want to say to myself? What would I want to hear? When I wrote this I wasn't sure if I would actually ever even get to read it. Having this letter in my hand validated that I had made it to my Ironman Event.
"Dear Me,
Wow can you believe you're here? You DID this!!! You set your goal and you did it! You were so scared of swimming. You struggled. You took the time to do all the swim work outs and look at you... You ARE going to do this tomorrow. YOU ARE READY!!! Remember it's forward motion. Just keep going. Be resilient and DON'T STOP!!!! Make sure to love yourself and give yourself the ability to just enjoy the day. Relax, there will NEVER be another 1st Ironman. Take it all in. Try to sleep. Make sure you eat.. and let go. You are worth it and deserve so much more. Life is beautiful! Love, Me"
The race was just that .. I kept the phrase, "FORWARD MOTION" in my arsenal. I just kept swimming. Telling myself that I had to keep going. I was RESILIENT on the bike course when I had to climb Chalk Hill for a second time. It was the one and only time during the race that I fought back tears because of the pain my quads were enduring during the climb. I wouldn't allow myself to rest until I made it to the top because I knew exactly what was on the other side... which was a nice long downhill and then into transition.
During those moments on the bike course when I found myself alone. I would recall phrases given or said to me by others and I would say them out loud repeatedly.
From Tori: "Hush girl. Hush your lips. Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips." (This was a quote from a song) I laughed every time I would say it.
From Beau: "Be calm. Be great."
From Claire Blaney: "You're DOING IT! You're f 'ing DOING IT! You're going to have a great race day!" (She was screaming this as I was passing her on my bike)
From me: "Where are you Chalk Hill? Show you're f 'ing face!" (I was determined to make that second climb)
"Brenda.. are you there? I need a push."
"You've worked too damned hard. Keep going. Push."
"I've been through worse. This is nothing."
I made sure TO TAKE IT ALL IN and ENJOY the moments as I started the 26.2 mile run course. My legs were stiff at the start of the first loop but soon found a comfortable stride by the second loop. I was fortunate enough to have a friend/friends volunteer to run along side me to keep me company. We would do a 4 min run and a 1 min walk. Our motto was to run during the down hills and walk during the up hills. Both Leigha (who ran the entire 26.2) and Rowena were amazing and im so thankful that they were there to push me along.
Things I did for the first time ever: Warning to the queasy...
* I peed and swam at the same time. I usually have to stop during a race in order to do this or just hold it the entire time. I swim way too slow to hold it. I even surprised myself when I did it unexpectedly. My thought as I was swimming along was.. "Wow, I feel like a big girl now. A real Iron Woman."
* I peed 3 times on my bike while I was racing. Again in the past, I never had the ability to do it. It was always as if I had stage fright. This was the race of my life. I didn't have time or could not afford the time to stop and get off my bike during the race. I was either going to hold it in the entire almost 8 hours or I was going to go IRON and just pee while I rode. I was careful to be sure no one was behind me and I would always rinse off with water afterwards.
* This was the first event of swim, bike, run that I completed fully this entire season.
I had an amazing day. I could not have asked for a more perfect race. I finished my entire 140.6 mile race in 15:51. I was surrounded by so many wonderful people; friends, family and Ironmates. All of them cheering... all of them waiting for me to cross that finish line. These wonderful people loss their voices, sat, stood, walked and at various points ran all about throughout the 16 hour race. Even friends I had not seen in such a long time came out to show support. I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you, near and far. You were with me from the beginning and knew of the struggles. You pushed for me to keep going because you had faith in me. You donated and helped me to make a difference. You gave support with kind words. You trained with me when you didn't have to. You showed "Jazz Hands". You fed me. You made me laugh. You forgave me and understood when I wasn't available because I was training. You've helped me keep my promise to see this through to the end. As I've said many times before... I have an amazing life and I am so lucky to have all of YOU!
I have a 2012 marathon in Antartica booked but what shall I do until then? Suggestions?.....
So stay tuned for my next endeavor. ;)
LINK TO IRONMAN DAY SLIDESHOW: http://www.slide.com/r/nohxwYIM0j_dqBHoBWW2Q_G_rxiMmXgJ
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